My on going battle

So I go back and forth.  I go from being sure that God is calling me into working with handicapped Ugandan kids. He has given me teaching resources, placed people in my path that are already working with these kids, and keeps showing me more and more kids that have special needs (practically daily right now).  And still I waver. Yesterday I went to see Lazaro again. He has a bad infection under the skin on his head that is draining pus and has matted his hair to his head. We (thanks Lisa for joining me in another adventure!) shaved his head and cleaned all of the sores. Then just sat a little in the shade with him, his many siblings and his mother. There was no one along to translate this time so communication was very limited. We tried and tried to get Lazaro so smile without any success. He seems SO depressed and I just know he is neglected. The flat spot on the back of his head just keeps getting worse and worse it is clear that he is left laying on his back all day. He is possibly more nourished than his siblings but that still isn't saying much. I just don't know what to do to help him and his family. He needs to be held and smiled at and sung to and given fun toys and little treats. And instead he gets to lay in the dark inside the hut alone all day. He can't roll himself over and won't even reach for things. It is so sad it made me feel physically ill while driving away. So then I say to God "You can't possibly be calling me to this, can you?"  And I just don't know what He is saying to me. I'd only been home a few minutes when Amecet (the baby shelter) called to ask me to see a child that had just arrived there that the mother was trying to leave. A 3 year old paralyzed from the mid back down with limited shoulder movement but no elbow, wrist or hand control.  He is also blind and deaf. The mother seems like she cares for him but just doesn't know what to do. He is getting too big and heavy to carry on her back all day but he will clearly never walk, talk or even feed himself. He isn't really sick so can't stay at Amecet though the mother is convinced that he has malaria. And physically handicapped kids are hard to take care of in the states where we have tube feedings and nice motorized wheelchairs and special schools and day care programs and good doctors and cribs. What am I supposed to do for this struggling family?!