Birthday

Well- we went to a Ugandan birthday party today…. I don’t even know where to start to describe it. Birthday parties are not very common here but “upper-class” Ugandan’s can afford it and so they are slowly making it more widespread. Anyway, this one was for the 1 year old daughter of our neighbor, Betty. Betty and her sister Natalie are the neighbors that have the house help (Ruth) and the little village girl (Monica) to watch Betty’s child while she is at work all day. We were told the party would start around 5pm. We had seen them putting out chairs and cleaning all day. In good Ugandan fashion (we are learning!) we headed over to the party at about 5:45. The child’s mother (there is no father) and grandmother were there along with two uncles and the aunt that lives there. We were invited into the formal sitting room (the only ones in there). The birthday girl’s mother mentioned that the place where they ordered the food from had called and told her it was ready but she didn’t have a way to go pick it up. So Beckie offered to take her to get the food. (I found out later that she also asked Beckie to take her into town to get some other things also.) So I stayed and found myself playing with the birthday girl and a little boy (Isaac I think he said his name was but he was only maybe 3 and I have no idea who/ where his parents were.) The aunt was mopping the floor and the others were sitting in a room down that hall that I wasn’t invited into (and as I could hear they were speaking only ateso anyway so I decided not to just barge in.) About 40 minutes later Beckie and the hostess get back and unload the car. We are invited out into the courtyard where there are chairs set up in very orderly rows all facing a table. It looks like a lecture or sermon is about to take place. By now it is nearly 6:30 and only one other guest has arrived. But there are nearly 30 chairs set up so we are really beginning to wonder. We are talking with the other guest and it is getting darker and darker. Nothing seems to be happening; I have no idea what everyone else is doing as we are just sitting outside. And it starts to rain again. A person introduces herself to the group arranged outside as a co-worker and friend of Betty’s. She seems to be a self appointed MC and is giving directions. So we quick picked up our chairs and recollect in rows on the front porch. A few other guests have arrived and we have noticed that the family has re-emerged from the house in formal clothes. We are pretty sure something is about to happen. But the family re-busies themselves with who-knows-what. Well, the sun has set and it is dark and there are a few more guest and it is 7:00 and nearly done raining and still NOTHING has happened. We are all just chilling on the porch. The Self Appointed MC gets back upfront and talks for a while about that this is a birthday party for Natisha who was also baptized into the Christian church on this day and we are here to celebrate her life…. And on and on for a while. Then she asks for the god-mother of the child to come forward and pray. But after a quick quiet conference with the child’s mother she asks for Rebecca to come pray. After a second or two we realize she is talking about Beckie. So she stands and prays. She did a great job on such short and unexpected notice. Then the self appointed MC tells us we have to introduce ourselves. She is looking right at Beckie and I. So we start and a few others also introduce and then it peters out- seems like no one really wants to. Everyone just sits and talks quietly. There are a few more guest- I think by now we are up to about 10 people not counting us or the family that was here 2 hours ago. The porch is full and the rain has stopped so the rows of chairs are re-established outside and it seems like maybe something is going to happen. (I know we said that before, we said it many more times to ourselves through the evening.) A photographer arrives and that seems to be who we were waiting for! Up front again is the MC. She tries one more time to get new arrivals and others who have not introduced them selves to do that but again is pretty unsuccessful. The MC is talking from the front again but we aren’t really paying attention. All of a sudden I catch the phrase “our white friends”. I tune in quickly to discover that she is saying that because we are “of the church” that we will be giving a talk to encourage the family and about how to raise children. Beckie and I just look at each other. Oh, boy. Beckie starts composing in her head what “we” are going to say. We point out to the MC that we have no children of our own and we really don’t have much to share. But this is Africa… we’ll go with the flow. We still have not seen or heard much from the hostess or her family. But, happy day!, plates of food come out and we all sit in the dark outside eating and talking softly. It is 9:30. This party started at 5. Well, now the very fussy birthday girl, who was woken up about an hour ago, is brought to the table in the front that all of the chairs are facing and a cake is produced. Some time, by now it is very dark, and I can’t exactly tell when it happed, but several more quests have arrived. Nearly all of the chairs are filled. Beckie and I are called up to the front. It becomes clear that they are trying to take a picture. The uncles emerge for the first time I think and we all stand at the table in front while the other guests watch. Then someone (keep in mind, it’s quite dark) sprays this while foam up into the air. I think it is supposed to look like snow (?) but it seems more like shaving cream. We are all pretty well covered in it and I have no idea how the pictures will turn out (old school cameras here only- no digital). We looked over at the cake- also covered in this shaving cream substance. I have learned that cakes around here are banana bread with thin white frosting. And they often sit for several days before being sold because they are not thrown out and a new one isn’t made until the first one sells. So we honestly were not really looking forward to it. But it is a pretty little cake for what is now a pretty good sized group. So when they passed out pieces the size of communion bread it wasn’t a great let down. We had our bite of cake then sat for a few more minutes. It became clear that we were to take our gift up to the child sitting on her mothers lap up at the table. We had been unsure of brining a gift but bought a few little things that were suggested to us by other Ugandans and wrapped them up. There were maybe 6 other people who had brought gifts also. They were presented to Natalie then taken away again. Let’s just say that this made the already fussy child have a melt down. The gifts were collected and taken inside still wrapped so I still don’t really know what is appropriate to give. The MC began to talk of the child having a dance with someone (not sure what that was about as all the other children were asleep already) and then the rest of us dancing. There had been a very odd collection of 80’s music, ateso songs and some gospel playing for the past few hours from somewhere in the house but I wasn’t sure about dancing to any of it. So after a quick quiet conference Beckie and I quietly slipped out of the yard and back to our own house. The hostess was still not really part of the party so we didn’t really know how to say goodbye. We decided we would talk to her the next day. It was 10pm. And that is how our first Ugandan 5 hour birthday party went.