So many kids!

I’ve wanted to blog for several days now but when there are kids around all the time it is just too hard. I fire up the computer then suddenly I have at least two sets of eyes over my shoulder. They ask to see pictures or have me explain what I’m doing constantly. They even demand to watch movies (well, only two make demands and I’m trying to teach how rude that is but the word rude seems means more like abuse so things get lost in translation and I’m not sure if what I’m saying penetrates … anyway, I’m trying.) It surprises me how quickly I feel stressed. I just sent home Rebecca, Edwin, Elle, Marvin, Betty and Dorcus. This is a pretty small group considering Abella and neither of the Juliets were here. Betty and Dorcus didn’t actually leave- they both think they are above the rules of the others but I need a few minutes and so I’m just pretending that I can’t see them. They have seemed to figure out that if they just stay really quiet and out of my way I’m too weary to reprimand them. I’m pretty sure this isn’t the right response on my part…

Rachel and Bobby have very specific times that their house and yard are open to all of these kids. But kids here (adults either) have no idea of specific times. And I don’t have books and toys like they do. So I’m not sure how to make that system work here. Today started off so well but they all make so many messes and I feel like know that I have to watch them constantly. Earlier I heard the lid of the back of the toilet come off. What the heck?! And things that shouldn’t tend to wander around. Like when I look up and three of the girls are taking pictures with my camera. When the first few arrived today we worked on letters of the alphabet and putting together simple words. Then a few more joined and they were writing letters. As long as they have my nearly undivided attention it can be fine. But I try to hang laundry or put away dishes and suddenly Beckie’s good paper is being cut to bits and there is marker all over the table. Usually it is Betty who has instigated the problems- like bringing out the markers and craft paper. And the digital camera too now that I think about it. I feel like I’m scolding her all of the time and in front of the others. I have to remind myself that these kids have never used markers or scissors before. They think my camera is the coolest thing ever. I want to let them experiment and learn. Some don’t have mother who taught them manners. Practically none of them have fathers who taught them anything. Their homes have nothing.

And food- this is a whole other problem. Betty often always comes hungry. She has taken to helping herself to anything I have out. So then others do too. Yesterday it was the bread that I had drying to make bread crumbs. I reprimand her but then I think- she is so hungry she just ate a stale piece of bread. I remind her that she has to ask, but then I remember yesterday she asked for beans and I said no. I didn’t want her to make a big mess in the kitchen. I have let them cook several times but they need such close watching. They are not used to gas stoves, dish soap, Teflon pans, measuring cups, the list goes on and on. I really want to offer them opportunities that help them learn but it is so hard. They are hungry and I want to feed them but I don’t know when to say yes and when to say no. Do I stop what I’m doing and prepare food? (There are few simple snack foods here and fruit doesn’t last more than one day before it has all been eaten. I practically go to market daily.) I think one day I’ll stand before God and he will never say “you fed them too much” but I wonder where to draw the line.

Alright enough processing… just a little glimpse of one of my daily struggles…