Let's see.. time to blog again but what about? I call this blog my mental wandering and this post may cover a mile or so.
I'm really content right now. Staying in Kaiser's house is nice. (They may have to evict me when they get back.) Nice big kitchen, quiet neighborhood. I've discovered they often don't have water at their kitchen sink (because it isn't connected to their storage tank but instead directly to the city water and clearly the water is only on a few hours a day) but I don't like doing dishes anyway so that is no big deal. Power is still off about every other day so several nights a week I lay sweltering under my mosquito net trying to decide if I'd rather die of heat stroke or run the risk of dying of malaria if I take the net down. At least the nights the power is on a fan makes a huge difference and I don't have to worry about either.


I'm officially training for the Uganda Triathalon. Once again trying to plan out a training program while wondering what the heck I'm thinking. But as much as I complain I like the challenge. I'll still have to try to do it with practically no swim workouts but I've got plenty of space to run and lots of opportunity to ride.

I've got all of “our” kids ready to go back to school next week. They have their books and pencils, uniforms are being sewn, and registration fees are paid. I went to Betty's home to visit her elderly grandmother (and primary caregiver) and twice she talked about how it was time for her to die. I can't help but wonder where that will leave Betty, Manuel and Joyce.

I hung out at Amecet for a few hours. They have a little guy 1.4 kg at 3 weeks old (3 pounds) and a two day old who is still too weak to suck so they are still feeding him via tube but everyone is healthy. Amazing!

And God is talking to me about TRUTH. John 8:32. As I walk past the Mu5lim mosque or talk with Betty about fearing death I think of it. Really while interacting with so many different people. Several times a day I find myself praying against the lies that Satan uses to bind people in that keep them trapped in fear or sin or depression when what God wants is to set them free with peace and joy and contentment.

And I guess that is enough wandering for today.

Catching up

Finally internet!  But  power is out again so this will have to be a quick post so that I can get the rest of them up. I'm settling back into routine.  Almost sleeping all the way through the night. 8 pm your time is 4am here.  It is usually around then that I wake up with my brain trying to convince the rest of me that it is time to get out of bed.  Soroti is HOT and DRY.  They tell me it hasn't rained in weeks and it is apparent. When you step out of the shade (which you try not to do!) it feels like a blast furnace. By the end of the day every square inch of my body is gritty and sweaty.  But that makes me really enjoy the cold showers.... 

Anyway, I'm missing all of you!  Enjoy the snow for me!

Moving from Komolo Road

Quick update as I hope to have internet successfully later today so but I’ll just keep journaling and maybe eventually I’ll get to post it all.  I’m sitting in the Kaisers’ house (who are back in Chicago on furlough) with the majority of my earthly positions sitting in piles around me. These piles seems both small and huge. As Betty and Abella were helping me pack it up I couldn’t help but be embarrassed by this amount of “junk” I “need” to survive. Yet, this pile is tiny compared to when I owned a house and lived in Michigan. I know that God is reminding me that I don’t need this stuff. He has blessed me with it but it is nothing more than worthless worldly accumulations. It is possibly even holding me back from what He may be calling me to out in Karamoja. Whoa, side tracked… anyway. I’ll be living here in this house for a few more weeks until the servant’s quarters of Tiesenga’s house is finished. Yep, that’s right.  I’ll be living in servants quarters. But as Tiesenga’s don’t have servants I think it will be nice. Pictures of my new place will follow soon. 

Trying to not get frustrated...

The past few days have been full of reminders that I'm back in Africa and how much my thinking has reverted back to western expectations. For example, as we packed the vans to begin the 8+ hour trek back to Soroti from Entebee we received a phone call that there were riots in Kampala so somehow we should avoid the capital. But first was the phone call that the car Beckie and I used to share wasn’t ready yet and she wouldn’t be able to get it until after midday, whatever time that was. (The mechanic has had it for a week and knew when she needed it finished by.) That meant that we had to go into the capital to get our car but after hearing about the riots it wasn’t safe to wait around for whenever the mechanic decided he would get it back to us. And the road that we usually take to Sorori has gotten so bad that we now go about 100 km more via Lira instead (see map). We really need to be off the roads by dark. So the mad scramble to get the supplies we need, to avoid potential bad places in Kampala, to get Beckie’s car and to get on the road with enough time to get home before dark. We nearly made it. Back to Soroti by 9:00pm.

Another reminder today. The kids arrived to welcome us back and tell us that today is the last day of registration for school. I’d been seriously considering getting two of Betty’s siblings to join her at the slightly better school but I knew I was going to have to be the one to get them registered and pay the fees if that was going to happen as their grandmother was not going to take the initiative. So I’m struggling to move out and back in but took a few hours out of the day to take Manuel and Joyce down to the school and have them “tested” to figure out what class they belong in. The testing was a joke as the headmaster (principle) gave them a few questions from last year’s tests but read and explained the questions to them. Manuel should be going into Primary 5 (5^th grade) but I knew he couldn’t have read the test questions himself. And for Joyce, he explained to her what the words meant and I know her English isn’t good enough to have understood the test on her own. But I also know they both have to do these tests independently because their teachers won’t help them and next time they will fail. Anyway, they are registered, both in classes the same as last year.  I really want them to succeed so please join me in praying for them. Manuel really needs to learn to read and Joyce has such potential but has just never had a teacher who will invest in her. And something to look forward to: Next week Monday we go school shopping. My favorite. 

Joyce is the one in pink with Vicky in red and Janet in yellow.
They are posing in their new skirts and shirts I brought back for them. 

Relaxing at the lake

Sitting contentedly on the beach at lake Victoria today. Travel from the States was pretty straight forward. The Ugandan customs guy decided to throw his weight around and check one of my bags. He saw all the meds I had and figured he should have some for himself. He picked three of my huge Acetaminophen bottles and told me because I hadn't declared all this medical stuff he had to confiscate it. All he took was that and as I was tired decided not to fight it. I closed the container back up and figured there was no point in trying to logically point out that you don’t have to declare anything coming into Uganda, that I had cases of meds and he was just taking 3 bottles, that he clearly just wanted some for himself or that most likely he didn't know what he took anyway. But I just went with it. It could have been much worse and that was really my only traveling issue. 
I was met at the airport at 11pm by wonderful teammates who helped me load up and get to the place we were staying that night. Now, I’ve had a few very nice days to get over the time change and re-acclimate. The whole Team Beyond team is here in Entebee for a few days to pray and worship and figure out our long term strategy. Tomorrow we’ll head back home. 

Back

Back to Uganda. Back to internet that is much less accessible for so many reasons (hence the lack of communication for a while). Back to millions of bugs in the sink and showering by lantern light. (Which was the case my first night here in Uganda). Back to sunburn and mosquito bites instead of windburn and frost bite. It feels right to be back. Not easy. But right. 

Trying to get ready to go again....

On the road marked with suffering, though there is pain in the offering, blessed be your name. 

The tears come far more easily than I'd like as tomorrow I say goodbye to Benj, Christina and Izaac. Tonight, goodbye to Chip and Susan. Its harder to go this time than before. Possibly because I've been reminded of the creature comforts that I'd rather not give up again.  Or because I know the struggles I'm headed back to more intimately. Or maybe because now I know how far away it really feels.Whatever the reasons I don't feel ready... but it's time. 
Again, God is stripping away the parts of me that want to cling to the stuff of this world. He is reminding me that He cries with me as I say goodbye and that being willing to surrender to Him is of far more value that trying to live for myself. 
My pride says I'm tough. I can do this. But I'd like my pride to speak a little less so I'm asking you to pray. I'm struggling a bit. But the good news? His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And He WILL DO more than I can even ask or imagine. 

Other stories

I need to write but without any large tasty rats or random adventures happening I'm low on material. So here are a few other blogs I follow that could be fun for you to read until I get back up to speed:

I mentioned that I ran out to LA for a quick bit and got to spend some time with a friend.  She is an amazing photographer and has some cool picts on her blog that I need to give a shout out to. That's me in the second photo- I'd almost forgotten about it but it made for a great picture. Check it out! Sailor RN

Terril and Amber are fellow missionaries in a different part of Uganda. This is a story that they shared that Beckie and I experience all the time! Schrock and Awe

And then there is the whole Soroti team that I'm missing right now. They look like their having lots of holiday fun. Shaarda News Not everyone in Mandy's pictures are team mates but about half of them are. I'm looking forward to being back with them!

One last one that is a great look at how Uganda's and American's think differently. (I don't condone the language but it is still a well told story.) Iganda? No, Uganda!  How he discusses fatalism seems so accurate to my experience.

I hope that is enough reading for you to stay busy with for a bit..... 3 more weeks and I'll be back in Uganda.

In the Desert

I'm struggling a bit, feeling disconnected and disjointed... possibly as evidenced by my lack of writing. Or caused by it- correlation or causation?  Anyway, I have four short weeks left in Michigan, though I'm in Indiana as I write tonight. Yesterday I was in California (all of this moving around may have something to do with my feelings of detachment) and had some time in the desert. It snowed, which seems strange as I was just outside of Los Angles but kind of appears fitting as I can't seem to get away from the cold.

I've loved being withso many friends and family and supporters but I'm afraid I've become more of an introvert than before I headed to Uganda (is that possible?!?) and I feel like I need to recharge and decompress or retreat and process but I just don't want to miss out on any time with people. I don't know how to strike a balance. Please just keep praying.  

* Addendum- turns out I was in Illinois. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. 

 

Singing in church

I miss worshiping in church in Uganda!! In Soroti, when we sing "I will clap Hosanna"- we actually clap. When the song contains the words shout- you shout! When the leader begins waving- well, you get the idea. They have a song that is roughly translated "I'm going to the promised land". I have seen the women get up, tie on their babies, pick up the mat they were sitting on, put their bibles on their heads and dance their way out of the church because they are ready to go to the promised land!  The first time I heard it, it had not yet been translated and I thought church was over and we were all headed home.
This week in church we sang and no one clapped or even twitched.  I even had to look around to see if others were singing. We weren't standing and some were just sitting without even moving their lips.  Did anyone mean what they were listening to?!? We were in God's house but one wouldn't necessarily know it by  looking at us.  So, the good news is that I don't really care (as much) what others are thinking of me. I worship corporately to honor my Lord. I'm going to sing and put my hands up and clap and possibly even dance. For those of you that also attend Remembrance I considered apologizing to you. But I'm not really sorry. I want my Savior to be honored by what I'm singing on Sunday morning.

Catching up

Time to blog again…. it still strikes me as strange how many of you say you read my mental wanderings…. it makes me recommit to keeping this current and at least attempting to keep it relevant.

I have really enjoyed seeing so many of you guys over the last week. I love catching up with you but I find it makes me sad too because I realize how much I’m missing- friends having weddings and kids and struggles and major changes and just generally experiencing life and I don’t get to enjoy it with you. I find there have been many of you that we’ve met and hugged and caught up then we say "see you again in a few years". I know most of us have relationships like this and the only reason that these are different for me is that they are more…pronounced, maybe. We all have friends that we only cross paths ever few years and catch up then part ways again.

OK- I don’t know where I was going with that thought besides that I’m enjoying seeing all of you again.  Thanks for taking time out of your busy days to make me feel like I’m still…. well, still here. That I’m still part of your lives. 

Driving in on the right side of the road

Yikes! I drove within a day of being back in the states so one might think I would be used to street lights again by now and wouldn’t be constantly scanning for livestock on the sides of the roads. I never need to swerve painfully to avoid things and don’t have to drive for miles on the shoulder because it is better than the road. I haven't been pulled over by traffic cops looking for bribes and I never have the need to take my half of the road out of the center. And I've only been on the wrong side a few times. But driving here is proving to be tough. I  don't even know what to do!! There are no giant potholes. There is no livestock in the road. There are no potholes containing livestock. (I'm serious- there is a pothole near our house in Soroti that the pigs love to wallow in so it is something we need to watch for) There are practically no pedestrians here (and when there are they are strangly on a sidewalk far from the road) and practically no bikes (and when there are they have a huge wide shoulder.) If I'm not trying not to hit someone or not fall off the road or not run over a cow, what is there to do while driving?! 

Missionary Medical Intensive

*oops! this was supposed to be posted 11/4
I'm mentally overflowing with all of the lecture topics from the past two weeks.... I feel I could reasonably attempt a burn skin graft, extract abscessed teeth, replace a dislocated shoulder or recognize cholera before it became an epidemic, all in remote Karamoja with minimal medical supplies. (Of course I'm still praying that I don't need to do any of this stuff on anyone but at least I'm slightly more ready if the need arises.)

Some practice splinting. A skill I already enjoy using but more practice is always fun. 

Round table discussions? 

I knew how to do several of these IM, SQ and ID meds so  got be be on the receiving end ...

Izaac

This is my super cute nephew who knows me as “Aunt Jenny came on an airplane?” which he asks me often. He is the only 22 month old I know who speaks in complete sentences and I know I’m not biased at all when I say he is the smartest and cutest kid I’ve ever met. This is the hardest part of working on the mission field. I spent the last few days staying with my brother and sister on the way home from the medical training and my favorite part was hanging out with this nearly two year old. I’m going to be able to spend more time with them around the holidays but I still find myself already grieving and abhorring the thought of leaving again. 

Common sense vs. Faith

Our chaplain here, Barry, has more than 40 years of experience on the mission field and he has been telling us stories. One really jumped out at me yesterday and I want to retell it. In the early 1970’s he was in North Vietnam with his wife working at an orphanage. For those, like me, who don’t know their world history as well as we should, there was a war going on in North Vietnam at the time. This man and his wife were in an isolated place that was most easily reached by a 20 minute boat ride and they had to wait often for transport. Their mission director was there to visit when the Viet Cong came threateningly near. Their director returned back to the states and soon after sent $2,000 for them to purchase their own boat. Barry looked at the doctor and asked him what he knew about boats. “Nothing.” Me neither. So they prayed that God would show them which boat He wanted them to have. Then when it came time for Barry’s wife to give birth to their first child they headed into the city. Barry and the doctor took that opportunity to look for the boat they were going to buy so took a translator with them and headed down to the wharf. The first boat they came to was for sale! Barry sat down in the bow and the doctor sat down on the stern.  Barry knew right away that this was the boat they were supposed to purchase. The doctor expressed the same. Their translator interrupted them and reminded them that they didn’t need to purchase the first boat they saw. They should look around more. He told them there was a bigger boat down the dock a little that as also for sale. They went to see it and discussed that bigger would allow them to carry more supplies and people. They found out that it had a nice new motor. It was a really nice looking boat. And it was only $1,100 and they had two thousand to spend. Perfect! So they bought the boat. Barry went up to the hospital to collect his wife and newborn and happily told them they would be going back in their new boat. I’m going to cut out some of the story for the sake of length but picture Barry, his wife and newborn, the doctor and months’ worth of supplies headed out to sea having no idea what they were doing. Prayer finally brought them back to their home beach but a typhoon was coming.  They called the children from the orphanage down to the beach and all tried and tried to get the boat up above the tide line. After long struggles and to the point that the storm was so bad they had to get the children inside they still had not been successful. They only owned the boat one day before it was destroyed. The next time they went into the city the first boat they had seen was still for sale. It was $900 so with their remaining money they bought it. They saw that it was the biggest boat they could still successfully pull up the beach during storm season. Their common sense said bigger is better. But God said I told you which one you should have! 

I need something?

Medicine on the ground being sold at the Arapi market. 

I was sitting with some fellow missionary nurses over lunch commiserating about some of the struggles we face.  I was just sharing with them that it isn’t uncommon for a mother to bring me a child asking for medicine but after I assess the child it is pretty clear that they don’t need meds. They have a viral respiratory infection or colic and just need fluids, rest and time. But Ugandan mothers HATE to hear this. They want medicine for their child. They believe they HAVE TO HAVE medicine.  The one instance that I was thinking of in particular the grandmother came to me for advice. I rode my bike to their home and assessed the baby. She was 3 months old and had a little cough but nothing else. No fever, eating fine, lungs clear, etc. I reassured them that the baby was healthy and tried to explain that she was too little for cough medicine so they just needed to give it time and it would clear up.  I learned that a few hours later they took the baby to a local midwife who sold them medicine for malaria. I wanted to scream “You don’t need that crap!” (For so many reasons this kind of thing drives me nuts. This baby didn’t need any medicine and really didn’t need malaria medicine. It is too hard on her little kidneys, and just generates resistance.)  I was talking to the other nurses and they were saying they see the same things in places they work- Egypt, Haiti, Ethopia. People have this idea that they NEED medicine for something.  Then one of the nurses said “don’t we all?”.  She was speaking more metaphorically than medicine and she is right. I know there are times that I’ve gone to God and told Him I’m tired or worn out or frustrated and He tells me to just rest in His presence. That I need to rehydrate and take time. And instead I try to heal the struggle with food (chocolate!! ) or entertainment (I’ll just toss in a movie) or something else. And God is saying “What did I just tell you?! You don’t need that crap!” I am developing resistance to God’s voice and it is hard on my soul to seek to satisfy outside of what God provides for me. He tells me to  come rest in Him but I choose other “medicines.” I’m sorry Lord when I don’t listen to you and try to heal the hurts in my life with things outside of what you say. I know you are the great healer and have only the best in mind for me. Teach me to just take time and rest in your presence. To hydrate in the springs of life and to really understand that I don’t NEED those other things.  Amen.  

North Carolina

I’m here in lovely North Carolina learning more than I have since first semester of nursing school.  We start class at 8:30am and generally leave the classroom between 9:30 and 10 at night. (Longer if you want extra time with the teachers on a topic.) But I’m not complaining because I’m learning a ton and I’m sure this is going to help as soon as I head back to Uganda. No, I have a much different thing to complain about. I am not ready for winter!!

It sure is beautiful. 

But I haven't been this cold in a long time!!