Hike

More pictures of Nordhouse.

Eikceb

I have this friend (she calls herself Eikceb sometimes) who makes me think. I often find myself coveting her spiritual insight. (Is it still a sin to covet if it is directed at a closer walk with God?) She often teaches me things. We met for coffee the other day, odd if you know that neither of us drinks the stuff, but we had a few minutes, her after work and me before, and we just talked. Now there were no deep philosophical insights shared- mostly we talked about biking to work. But she still taught me. A man at a table next to us got up and moved so he could plug in his laptop. But his hands were full and he left his cup on the table. MY friend jumped up and took his cup to him. Now, there was no reason that he couldn't have come back and gotten it and I'm sure he was going to but she did it anyway. And she does stuff like that all the time. A few weeks ago we stopped at Meijer and ended up in line behind a mom with small kids and a very full cart. While I prided myself on not getting impatient, Eikceb set her stuff down and bagged all the mom's stuff. This Mom was so harried that she hardly even paused from yelling at her kids and she didn't even really say thanks, but my friend saved her 10 minutes. I noticed. Why don't I do stuff like that? It is not about making the world a better place or "random acts of kindness". It is about doing what pleases my Lord. And I don't do it often enough. Yet I complain about not being on the mission field. I pay lip service to the fact that all around me is a mission field yet I don't live that way. I have some things to work on.
And once again, thank you Eikceb for teaching me.

Back on IIU

The pager says a stab wound to the chest and an elevated blood ETOH level. ... I must be back on IIU. I love my new job but nothing this "exciting" happens. (Exciting is tongue in cheek: I don't like stab wounds because nice people don't generally get stabbed and I don't like drunks because, well, they are drunk. I know there are "nice drunks" sometimes that won't curse me out when I try to provide care but they generally try to grope me and I'm more of a DON'T TOUCH ME kind of person. ) Anyway, I'm only on IIU once a week now and that is OK. Oddly enough we haven't had a drunk yet out at Southwest. (Pretty sure we never are either.) I'm getting the hang of it out there. The pace is generally pretty quick as I've discovered I'm working the busiest shifts. We can easily see more than 20 patients in the evening. One doctor and two nurses. Let me do the math for you... that is a lot of things to do in an hour. But I like being busy and seeing a little bit of everything. I'm slowly getting better with the kids stuff... though yesterday I was reassured that I still have no idea what I'm doing. I triaged a 3 year old who was holding her wrist and crying. Pretty sure I couldn't mess it up, I ordered the wrist x-ray and waited for the doc to go in to see her. Well evidently in that age elbow injuries look like wrist injuries and they don't even need films. You just put the elbow back in place and watch the kid for 20 minutes or so. If they start to use it again you discharge them home... I'm learning. (BTW: It is called Nursemaid's Elbow and shouldn't happen after age 5. )

Sticking around a little longer?!

A guy I work with now has really got me thinking and dreaming about being overseas again. I really thought I had improved the "be patient" thing but I guess not. I've started praying with a renewed passion about my next mission field. This new job is doing well keeping me busy and content but obviously not quite content enough. So, I'm back to looking for mission and stocking away for airline tickets....

The good news is that I'm reminded almost daily that I still have a ton to learn. But I can now tell scarlet fever from contact dermitis... if only these were things I would see in Burkina. I have not yet seen malaria or parasites at Southwest. I guess I have to stick around a little longer.

Triathalon

So I raced this weekend and it felt really good. I took 8th in my age division and 221st overall with a finish time of 2:00:56. (My goal was under 2 hours and by my watch I made it.) The swim was one of my best yet, even though I got kicked so hard it brought tears to my eyes (or would have if I wasn't face down in the lake. If you want to see the bruise just ask... ) I was in and out of the water in 16:00 minutes flat. The bike course had about 16 more hills than I remembered and took more than an hour. I made up serious time on the run though with two miles under 8 minutes. I did all 4.5 miles in 39 minutes so I'm quite pleased.
Some of you may have heard the story of the dad who has finished an Iron Man with his handicapped son. (I you haven't you have to see this video http://www.myteamtriumph.org/) They raced this sprint tri in preparation for their next big one and that was fun to be a part of. It increased the number of cheering spectators if nothing else!
The results are posted here if you know anyone else who did it. It was the "Tri Del Sol" http://www.tridelsol.com/index.php Thanks to all who were cheering me on. My next one will be slightly less competitive at Cran Hill.

Follow up to last post

So we made it 120 miles!!! It took us 5.5 hours to get there at 6.5 to get back. BTW the path is NOT paved the whole way.

It looks heavy.

Beckie and I are planning to put in about 100 miles this weekend. To Big Rapids and back. (So I got some sweet pannier bags. She'll carry the tent and I'll carry our "stuff".) She thinks that we can make it in less than 5 hours- I thought about reminding her that we have to turn around and come back in just over 12 hours but decided not to. This could be interesting.

$1,000 later

So the "new" bike is finally done. A bit more than I thought I was going to invest in this piece when I first saw it. I hope to race on it next weekend but I really should put some serious milage in on it first....

I remember when I was good at my job...

So yesterday was technically my first day out at Southwest. I hate this feeling of not really knowing what I'm doing (but I keep assuring myself that it will pass quickly... I hope) We didn't see too many patients, just enough to remind myself that this is not a patient population that I'm familiar with. At one point my preceptor opened the chart on a new patient and said something like we'll take the ear infection. As we headed to the waiting room I saw the chart and thought she was looking at the wrong one - "Not eating and diarrhea". Nope, sure enough- by the time the doctor was done with his assessment the baby had a diagnosis of an ear infection. I have a lot to learn.

Change!

I know I have not posted in far too long but life was pretty status quo- felt like nothing to write about. Then Jenn left for Denver and Rachael to New York- I though I was going to lose it but God blessed me with a new job opportunity and consequently new writing material!! I'm going to be an ER nurse. So I have only three charge shifts left on IIU and to say I'm counting the hours would be an understatement of grand proportions. I have very few details about my new job except it will be 8 hours, 4 days a week. I hope to have some good stories....

Frustrated

So I've been chewed out for not posting more often but I just don't feel like life here is nearly as exciting as life, well..., anywhere else. I mean who wants to hear about my continual frustration with being in charge every freaking shift, being perpetually understaffed and having an never ending supply of patients here out of their own stupidity. (Yes, if you don't pay your prostitutes' pimp he will make your life miserable and if you get drunk and stoned before you decide to seek medical attention and make my life miserable by cursing at me every time you see me, I refuse to work extra hard to help you back out of your misery!)

Maybe my biggest frustration is that I just don't know what God has in store for me. I was so sure I'd come back from west Africa with a clear plan for the future. I just don't feel like He is clearly calling me back to the mission field right now. So.... what am I supposed to be doing? Lord, what is my purpose?!

8 weeks

So I've been home 8 weeks already... I really need to write the return letter to all of you that have supported me but I have been putting it off thinking that any day now I would have a clearer idea of what the near future held. I really wanted this letter to let everyone know my next step but I would have to know that to include it so that won't be happening. This holding pattern has no end in sight so I'd better get cracking on the letter regardless. I can't really even contain my frustration yet I have to wait on God's direction because it is not about what I want. So for now I will continue to practice Patience and in the mean time get my letter in the mail....

things I found...

Here are some of the random things I found while cleaning the clinic...

A biohazard clean-up kit, two disposable high temp cauteries (that I couldn't figure out how to dispose of) a container that held scalples in cork, a HUGE box of condoms (the kids were all under the age of 14), trays of glass syringes, ASA measured in grains with no expiration dates,

an LP tray that had lido in it that expired many years ago that also had a glass syringe, an ambu bag that cracked on both sides when I picked it up, a "quick trach" kit that seemed like it would cause more harm than good, a gas mask, 10 liters of saline that were older than me...

shelves

Just more pictures of the crazyness at the clinic and the end result.

Superheroes

I seem to always need a project and the next big challenge ahead of me is camp. As most of you know I have done kids camp every summer for something like 10 years now (if you count the years I was a camper I think I'm up to 14 years). This year I agreed to do the material which is proving to be a big challenge. The theme is superheroes and spiritual warfare. Two topics that I don't really consider myself highly knowledgeable about. For kids 3rd to 7th grade, an age range that I also don't consider myself proficient with. So once again I have to admit to my Lord that I'm unqualified for the job in front of me. The good news is that anything good that comes out of this will be his work, not mine. Father God- please use me. Speak through me. For this to have any effect whatsoever it needs to be your words not mine. Please guide and direct as I attempt to write these words. Thank you for the answers that I know already that you will provide. Amen

UNO

I have not played UNO in more than three weeks. I think I'm going through withdrawal. So Sunday I made my sunday school class play with me. Thanks guys for putting up with me.
I can't seem to stop myself from continually comparing cultures:

It is all in how you look at it.

So I had lost perspective. In the proces of transitioning back to life in the states I seemed to forget that the lessons that I learned in Burkina are just as applicable here. I'm still nothing more than an empty vessel, a reminder that I need more often. I may be more comfortable here and seem better equiped for my daily tasks, yet I'm really just as in need of my savior to guide and direct me all day long- and as long as I'm working 3rd shift all night too!
A few of my co-workers know of my struggle here at work. I feel like it is time to get some more experience that I can use in the future on whichever mission field I end up on but I'm afraid God's telling me to stay where I am for now. I'm trying to be patent and listen to God's direction but it is really hard. This is just another lesson I thought I had learned in Burkina yet seem to have forgotten. Something may be hard but abiding in my Lord will give it purpose and I don't really need to know why- even though I may ask over and over.
I'm looking at orginizations for long term placement but I'm back to where I was before I left. I have so much to learn and so many possibilities yet so few options that really feel feasable. It all seems so overwelming sometimes....

Father- I give all of it to you. Please continue to teach me to abide. Show me open doors but also help me to be willing to wait if I need to stay where I am. You have a plan that is better than anything that I could come up with and I know that you hold the ultimate design for my life. This will bring more peace and joy than anything I could do on my own. Thank you Lord. Proverbs 19:21

Many are the plans in a man's heart

but it is the

Lord's purpose that prevails.