Sunday, January 1, 2012

Trying to get ready to go again....

On the road marked with suffering, though there is pain in the offering, blessed be your name. 

The tears come far more easily than I'd like as tomorrow I say goodbye to Benj, Christina and Izaac. Tonight, goodbye to Chip and Susan. Its harder to go this time than before. Possibly because I've been reminded of the creature comforts that I'd rather not give up again.  Or because I know the struggles I'm headed back to more intimately. Or maybe because now I know how far away it really feels.Whatever the reasons I don't feel ready... but it's time. 
Again, God is stripping away the parts of me that want to cling to the stuff of this world. He is reminding me that He cries with me as I say goodbye and that being willing to surrender to Him is of far more value that trying to live for myself. 
My pride says I'm tough. I can do this. But I'd like my pride to speak a little less so I'm asking you to pray. I'm struggling a bit. But the good news? His strength is made perfect in my weakness. And He WILL DO more than I can even ask or imagine. 

1 comment:

Bemjamin Kragt said...

Since you know its hard for me to get all emotiony in person, I thought I'd take an opportunity to do so here. I guess I have tasted a little of the bitterness of leaving and I don't even have to go that far. Just know that I am so proud to tell people about my sister and her faithfulness and sacrifice. Even though you are so far away, you are such a great example for Izaac and you still have such an impact on his life. I love you and we all miss you again already. Know that we are always praying for you and can't wait to see you again which ever continent it happens on!