So I have now spent two weeks in Uganda and I’ve decided to take some time and share some of the things that I have learned in my time in this place.
1. There is an age where it is okay to swim in the swamps around the Soroti naked.
2. I learned I am not that age.
3. A dirt road has 0 traffic rules. Literally 0. None. Not a single rule. Do what you want.
4. I learned the difference between a speed bump, a speed hump and a speed plateau.
5. I learned how many Ugandans it takes to tip a car off a speed plateau after it has gotten stuck.
6. I learned why you only bring one bucket to the bore hole to carry water. It has to do with the number of heads you have to carry it on.
7. I learned about the art of balance. Picture a 4 seat bike. 1 driver 3 passengers. The goal is make sure you balance out the kids so they don’t throw off the weight distribution.
8. I learned who has the right of way at a Ugandan intersection. In this order:
-Cows: They are big and if you hit them Ugandan boys get really upset with you.
-Kids that herd cows: really its just not a good idea. Cows are big and these kids have some crazy control over these cows.
-Goats, chickens, children and any other pedestrian: this is the right of way that just levels the playing field. Evens up everyone’s odds.
-Motor cycle boda: They are agile and much faster than their bicycle counterparts.
-Bicycle boda: A little more dangerous cause they don’t move real quick.
-Traffic going perpendicular to you.
-Opposing traffic in your lane: Enough said.
-Opposing traffic in their lane.
-Anything bigger than you.
-You.
10. You will find no more beautiful stars in all of the world.
11. Driving on the side of the road may offer a smoother ride due to the lack of potholes where the was never any asphalt.
12. It really isn’t thanksgiving without American football. Even with a bunch of missionaries. Fantastic wonderful missionaries. Truly fantastic missionaries. They just aren’t that great at football. Actually really pretty bad.
13. There is no more authentic and powerful worship services than those held in an unfinished building on plastic chairs and wooden benches on a dirt floor with no sound system other than the hands of the congregation, a wooden table that tips with the uneven floor, however like every church there is the discussion of who will start each song during the service and not to mention the translator who is translating English and iteso and it varies depending on what language the pastor spoke the sentence before.
14. I learned it really does take a village.
15. I discovered how many Ugandan boys fit in a Toyota Corolla. 20. I'm pretty sure there were at least 20 boys in that car.
16. There is no iteso word for potato so they call a normal potato Irish. I discovered I am offended they aren’t called Idaho.
17. There are so many more uses for old tires:
-Straps (to hold anything on your bike like charcoal, sugar cane, papyrus, lemons, kids).
-Sandals.
-Belts.
I'm sure I've learned much more but the lessons just haven't sunk in yet.
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