I’ve been studying a bit of C.S.Lewis’ stuff and a few things he wrote have stuck in my mind. Most of what follows here I have to give him credit for. I’ve just been processing and here are my thoughts:
Time. It is a funny thing. In the States "Time is money" and we HATE having our time wasted. That isn't the mind set here at all. Here people feel "There is always more time" and they don't mind wasting theirs, or mine. I've gotten a bit better in my attitude with time. Or at least I thought I had until I was reminded of some truths. I noticed how irritated and resentful I got when time that I though was going to be free was interrupted by something (or more accurately someone!). Like the other morning when I had just settled down with a wonderful cup of hot tea and finally had internet for just a few minutes of facebook and someone showed up at my gate who I knew was going to be here for more than an hour. Or when I was really looking forward to a quiet evening at home and the afternoon was dragging on and my part in it was clearly going to go well into the night because it was so disorganized and so much time was being wasted. At the root of it, I felt that time that was my own, was being stolen from me. Without actually realizing it I felt that I was the lawful possessor of 24 hours- like my birthright. I was even subtly thinking of how good it was of me that I was giving so much of my time to God. Whoa! Who's time?! I can not make or retain a single second of the day. Every moment of time is given to me as a gift. If God were here in bodily form and demanded a day of service with Him, from me, I would be exceeding grateful but possibly even disappointed if he gave 30 minutes back and said now you may go amuse yourself. And if he were here in bodily form and asked for nothing more difficult than an hour of my service to be sitting and talking with young woman who came to my gate or a few hours in the afternoon to be waiting patiently for kids to be released from their program so I could give them the treatment they needed, wouldn't I be ecstatic? But isn't that what is happening all the time? He is inviting me to join him in his work then putting people in my path all day long. And I have the nerve to be upset? How selfish of me. I need to daily re-surrender the time he has given me now that he has gently encouraged me to rethink my sense of ownership over it. How about you?