Big bird, Oscar the grouch and Cookie monster

Bobby and Rachel are team mates in Soroti who spend quite a bit of their time working with runaways, homeless children and street kids in town. I got this from Bobby the other day and want to share his prayer request with you. 

Hey Team, 

I don't often talk about the street kids ministry much but I wanted to write  to simply ask for prayer.

I have a picture that I took last Monday of a street boy named Omojel George William.  I took the picture because of the t-shirt that he was wearing.  It was faded and dirty but the picture on the shirt was of Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch and the rest of the Sesame Street characters with the words written "I was raised on the street".  Initially I laughed at the shirt and thought that it was quite intuitive.  I thought, how ironic is it that a 'street kid' in Soroti would be wearing such a shirt.  Coincidence or not, as time has gone on my heart breaks at the thought that so many boys, and girls, for that matter, are raised on the streets.  For whatever reason, they seek shelter, belonging, family, and 'life' on the streets.  The truth is, the streets are a place where they receive no love, no affection, no food, and no guidance. 

Denis and I spent the morning today praying together at the TECDEFO house for each of the street kids.  We were led to a passage in Lamentations that spoke directly to us.Lamentations 2:19 says, "Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin: pour out your heart like water in the presence of the LORD. Lift up your hands to Him for the lives of your children, who faint from hunger at the head of every street."

Would you lift up your hands and cry out in prayer with us for these boys by name?  (These are the names of the boys that have come to the TECDEFO house since Denis and I have been back in Soroti)  

Olinga Abdu Razak

Ocumar Moses

Odongo Steven

Omalet Joel

Omojel George William

Orianga Joseph

Okello Joseph

Emmanuel

Ogwel Juma

Oteka Patrick

Odiamo Brian

Musana John Michael

Osweu Shida

Elungat Joseph

Ibrahim Saidi

Opio Emmanuel

Otim Solomon

Otwao Vincent

Mahmad Adam

Eriaku Moses

Grace and Peace,

bobby kolb

What people think

Woe to you when all people think well of you.
Luke 6:26

Muslim

Five times a day 1/5 of the world hears a call to prayer....

Surrender

One of the first things that God told me this weekend was I needed to surrender....again. I think He needed to get me to a place that I would be ready to listen. So here is more of my mental wandering because I suspect God wants the same of you.

sur*ren*der [suh-ren-der]- verb

1.	to yield (something) to the possession or power of another; deliver up possession of on demand or under duress:

2.	to give (oneself) up as in to some influence, course, emotion, etc.

3.	to give up, abandon, or relinquish (comfort, hope, etc.).

4.	to yield or resign (an office, privilege, etc.) in favor of another.

So I'm sure you see where I'm going with this.

God says I need to surrender:

My plans. "But God! I have these because of you!" "Yes, but you are very attached to them. Are you willing to give them up if I ask something else?"

My hopes and dreams. "Give these up too?! Why?" "You are very focused on the future. What about what I'm doing right here and now?"

My fears and worries. "Sure that is easy Lord. They are all yours." "Really? You seem to say you are laying them down but then you pick that burden right back up. I want you to REALLY yield them to me. You have nothing to fear."

My money and my time. "Oh, boy. This too?" "I gave you all that you have. Technically they are already mine. Sometimes I'm not happy about how you spend either. If I ask you to give them back to me it will be for something better!"

My pride "Do we really need to go there?" "Yes. You are pretty full of yourself at times. I would rather you be full of me."

I have some things to work on....

Chicago

Oh my... where to even begin about this weekend....

God is so ______________
....good doesn't even begin to scratch the surface.
.... big is far, far too small of a word.
... extravagant is just too limited.

My heart and soul are so filled with God's joy that tears are welling up! (I am NOT an emotional person!- What is this about!?!) This weekend was so affirming!

From meeting with Mark friday afternoon and setting a concrete timeline with a green light...
To the spiritual reassurances saturday and sunday that I'm NOT out of my mind....
From encouragement to be bold, to remain in God's will, to surrender, to be disciplined...
To the meeting late sunday night here in GR that fit in so well with where we go from here...

I have so many different things running through my head that I want to write about but I need to do more processing and mulling. STAY TUNED!

God's love

I started to title this "Simple Thoughts" but as I have been pondering I don't really believe this is simple. If it was it wouldn't be as hard to accept.

God loves us SO much just the way
we are.... and... He loves us TOO much to leave
us the way we are.

Read it again. True isn't it? Then why do we worry so much? Why do we let ourselves think we are inadequate or not up to the challenges placed in front of us? How can we embrace this "simple thought"?

Haven't posed in a while....not much to write about....life has been pretty status quo....

But this weekend Beckie and I head to Chicago to meet with the International Teams people!!!

I'm pretty excited about this step forward if you can't tell. I have no idea what God has in store for us but that is part of the excitement!

Urgent care

So it was inevitable.... I was worried about it but it was bound to happen. It is actually nice that it is over. The hardest one, the first one, is behind us. A patient in labor came in to urgent care. We have had heart attacks, significant chainsaw injuries, strokes and now, one more emergency that is far from appropriate to come to urgent care. The good news, for me at least, is this story does not end with a baby. She delivered without issues but it was after we got her downtown with time to spare. A quick set of vitals and fetal heart tones, cervix check and IV placed, and a call to AMR and she was off to somewhere there were people who know what they are doing. It is still going to happen... we will deliver one out in urgent care and we will be ready, everything will be fine and it will be a good story but hopefully not in the near future....

Am I a good nurse?

"People don't remember much about our medicine. But they do remember how we make them feel." -Thom Dick


Eval season at the hospital. I know I'll be evaluated on things that the managers think are important.... but how am I doing about the things that my patients think are important? And how about the things that my ultimate boss think are important? How am I doing in those departments?

Update

So... I have not posted in a while. I may be writing to myself right now as all my readers have fallen to much more exciting blogs- or at least ones that post occasionally. But that is O.K. because I have no problem talking to my self, why should this be any different? Besides, it clears my head.

But for those of you who may still be there, fear not. More adventures are comming. I have applied to and (mostly) been accepted by International Team to go back and work in East Africa. The tenative date is January 2010. Seems a long way off... but it is really only 9 months away. I need to finish the application process, get some training, get rid of my house and most of my other worldly possessions and raise a little money. OH MY GOSH!!!
This thing that I have talked about since I was 15 may finally be real! What have I gotten my self into?!

My one and only "political" post

I generally avoid topics like this but there are acceptions to every rule...

I have a financial advisor. Yes, you read that right.... now when you are done laughing refocus with me here. I don't have much money so all the more reason to invest it wisely. His monthly update e-mail that discusses financial topics (mostly- don't worry about a lack of gains) but at least it got me thinking. Read on for some food for thought.
Lately if you listen to practically any talking head current world economics comes up. Topics fall into one of two areas: Capitalism & Socialism/Communism. But I want to interject one more option. How about God's economic system? If you are a child of God, you have been set free to be part of God's economic system. Which system has the highest returns and rewards? The capitalist system is flawed with self seeking gain and greed.The socialist system if flawed with slavery, entitlement and lack of production. God's economic system promises that Godliness with contentment is great gain. Jesus promised that He is the way, the truth and the life. He promised if you will seek HIM first, all these other things will added to you. He promised if you will be faithful with little you can be trusted with more. Jesus promised if you try to save your life you will loose it, but if you loose it for HIS sake, you will save your life.
Where are you investing?

People

Was listening to this song by Chris Rice a few minutes ago, a good reminder for me and I thought maybe you too.... Here are a few of the words that grabbed me:

Every day is a bank account
And time is our currency
So nobody's rich, nobody's poor
We get 24 hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest, or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who's under

Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much

Was God pleased with all of my minutes yesterday? After all, He gave them to me. The good news is today is a new chance. May He be pleased with today's few hours. May I remember that all life that He gave has value. Both my life and all of the lives that He put around me. They all have value. And I have a few minutes to give to each so I will do my best.

I needed this reminder right now. In the last 10 days- I have worked 9 shifts of at least 8 hours- several were a lot longer. Lets say I see 20 people a shift- UC is seeing far more but the other nurse takes half. But most patients bring at least one other person.... anyway- round numbers I came in contact with 200 people.... Did I do what God asked of me with all of those interactions?

I found myself getting easily frustrated with people last night... but I have a few minutes that I can give, that we given to me. How am I using these few minutes? People were seeking my help for one reason or another, what am I offering?

This was good. I needed an attitude check. Thanks for listening to me. Now, if you have to come see me tonight I will be slightly more empathetic.... God has given so much to me, I have so much to share.

I'm guessing you do too. Good luck.

Missing

I have not ducked under a mosquito net to sooth a crying infant in weeks. I have not rinsed my dishes in bleach or walked to work just as the sun rose. I have not tried to convince a sleepy baby to take 10 mls more milk or woken at 5 am to the sound of cows . These things that only two months ago seemed strange, now I miss them!
But the reason that I'm thinking about this is that things are going well with the application process to International Teams. I managed to complete the long forms and we have started to discuss when to start training. For better or worse it is looking like Sept/Oct. For anyone who knows me you know that I'm praying for patience now harder than ever. But God's timing is always right and I will wait- even if it kills me.....

Busy

For better or worse work has been crazy busy which seems to help keep me more content. I have not forgotten about blogging but as long as it is flu season and we continue to see more than 50+ patients a day I won't be writing much. Besides who wants to hear about viral gastroenteritis, liters and liters of IV fluids and more low grade temps than you can imagine. I would like a recording of myself talking about getting enough rest, enough fluids and adequate hand washing. Then I would just play it with every discharge and save myself hours per shift. (Caution I'm about to revert to nurse speak:) But on the up side I was there when we encountered our first Stemi. He arrived with chest pain and we had the EKG in minutes with tombstones all over it. Line, labs, O2, ASA and nitro and a quick call to the ambulance service and out the door in 27 minutes, straight to cath lab, do not pass go/do not collect $200, and to clot in less than 60 min. 100% block of the circumlflex and at least one other partial block. But he will go on to live a healthy productive life with most of his heart still intact. You are welcome. This job does have its rewards some days (because that could have gone very differently).

Home for a week and finally getting it back together...

God spoke to me during my time with him yesterday morning. I'd been feeling so purposeless and actually depressed practically since arriving home. I was trying to focus but I just kept mulling it over. I wrote:

This trip was incredible. While I was there I'm able to give it all to God and say "do with me what you will." I'm able to trust Him with each step and be so dependant on Him and it all feels so right. And then I have to come home and I hate it. I immediately try to be dependant on myself again. I feel depressed and purposeless. I hate settling back into my old routine which has no adventure. I hate going back to work and back to routine here. I just don't want to do it! I cry out to you Lord- help me!

I sat quietly but was not hearing an answer at all. So I started reading in my bible where I left off the day before just to fill the time until I could be done with my "quiet time".

Matthew 14:25- 31 During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And God spoke to me. He said crystal clear "That's you. You want to get out of the boat. And you even manage to walk a few steps. But then you get back home and you look at the wind and you see the waves and you look down at your own feet and you sink! But I am right here. I'm still standing right in front of you. Nothing is different except that you are focused on yourself instead of me. Knock it off!" Well, that knock it off may not have been directly from God- but that is the impression I got.

So I put down my bible and pen and journal and I went outside for a long run (Actually it was more like a walk because I have not run in nearly 5 weeks but that is irrelevant). I reminded myself that no matter where I am on this planet I really have nothing to offer. I am simply an empty vessel and I can not depend on myself. But the good news is that I serve the God of this universe who does have something to offer. And better yet He chooses to fill me with new mercy and new blessing every day! So I actually do have something to offer no matter where I am on this planet. I'm inadequate but it doesn't matter because He is more than adequate. I'm now working on keeping my eyes off the water and on the one that always gives my life purpose and direction.

So I can't promise that I won't me mildly melancholy for a little while longer but my focus is back where it belongs. This isn't about me at all, it is all about my God. Thank you Lord.

Sad News

I have some sad news for those of you that were praying for those little kids a Amecet:

Baby Basil passed away early tuesday morning (monday night for us). He was the sweet little guy that gave us a scare a couple of times and that I was holding as I posted. Even though I'm crying as I write this I know that he was taken to the best home he will ever have and Jesus wrapped his arms around Basil and held him better than I ever could.

It hurts...

My arms feel empty! I only knew these kids for such a short time but I miss them so much! While worshiping in chuch on sunday I longed to be dancing with Helen in my arms again....