Over the last few days I’ve sat down countless times I write my newsletter. And then I get so frustrated with myself. What to write about? What have I been doing? I am a doer. I love making lists then checking done things off. I knew while preparing to come that I would have to slow down, to not be driven by accomplishing things and not be worried about checking things off “the list”. I needed to be relational, to see where God was working and join Ugandans in that work. Well, I knew it would take time but evidently I feel like that time is up . I know in my heart that 6 weeks is not that much time at all but my head is saying that so many are hurting and could use nursing help and I spend the day hanging out with kids! I had a really good reminder yesterday (thanks Dede!) that I’ve committed my time to God and asked him to use it as He sees fit and now that time is filled with preteen/ teen girls trying to figure out who they will be in this world. Maybe this is what God wants me to be making a priority right now. The funny thing is that this is NOT the work I would have chosen for myself. I don’t feel good at this at all. I’m not a mother (as a matter of fact how many of you have heard me say “I’m never having kids” ?) I don’t have a ton of patience and I feel so unprepared to befriend these girls and help them see the truth of God in their lives. But, maybe that’s the point. If I was good at it I wouldn’t hit my knees before God so much acknowledging that He has to work through me in this. I wouldn’t turn to Him as often saying “what now?”. I want to point these girls to Jesus and His overwhelming love but if I don’t soak in it myself all the time I just can’t do it.
So, right now I’m not nursing. There are several doors that are closed for now in that. I don’t know what I’ll be doing in the near future. But at the moment I’ve got a purpose. There are several young lives that walk through my door every day (several times a day) and they spend lots of time with me. We cook together, go to market, work on reading skills, eat, we ride on the back of my bike (well- them on the back, me on the front) all over town. We talk about culture- theirs and mine, we talk about the future- theirs and mine, we talk about politics and weather and life. And most of all we talk about what I know to be true of my Lord and Savior. It doesn’t really seem like a job description. But it is. For now.
3 comments:
Awesome entry today! Loved reading what God speaks to you during this time of "what to do?"
What a beautiful job He has for you right now =)
Thank you for sharing!
Jen, I'm wondering why you don't think of what your doing as nursing... How very soon you've forgotten Body, Mind and Spirit! Your nursing all of those things into young girls that will one day be young women and forever remember the time that they spent with "The white lady from America that loved Jesus:)" Slowing down is very hard but the more you fight it, the longer it will take. One of Ivan's favorite things to say.... "Never say out loud what you don't want or like, God will throw it in your lap 10 fold!" Your new mantra better be "I love kids, I want a dozen of my own and my patience/patients on all levels are OVERFLOWING!!!"
This is good. Real good. Susan and I have been praying that you would find something to 'do' that would really have an impact. Sounds like you've started on it and it took us by surprise as well.
Now just create a list of the things you want to do in their lives and start checking them off. Just kidding.
Post a Comment