*Posted 12/5/08* As I've been thinking on this cost thing... Here is something else I've read and want to share. (Dr. Helen Roseveare in her book- Living Sacrifice. )
"Is there always a cost involved in responding to that insistent demand in our hearts to express to Him our love? Would I be willing to pay a cost if asked to do so? Do I believe that as my Saviors He has the right to demand such a response to His love if I would really love Him as He first loved me?I can't even make the "sacrifice" to get out of bed an hour earlier to pray or take the time sometimes to speak an extra kind word to my patents. Are these little things that God asks of me too much? Am I really suffering for Him at all?!? Lord, help me to be bold enough to ask for this privilege!
Momentarily I had felt this the night the rebel soldiers first took me captive. Beaten, flung on the ground, kicked- teeth broken, mouth and nose gashed, ribs bruised- driven at gunpoint back to my home, jeered at, insulted, threatened. I knew that if the rebel lieutenant did not pull the trigger of his gun and end the situation, worse pain and humiliation lay ahead. It was a very dark night. I felt unutterably alone. For a brief moment I felt God had failed me. He could have stepped in and prevented this rising crescendo of wickedness and cruelty. He could have saved me out of their hands. Why didn't He speak? Why didn't He intervene? And in desperation I cried out against Him: "It is too much to pay!"
Yet His love for me cost Him His life. He gave Himself, in that one all sufficient atoning sacrifice at Calvary. He so loved the world that He gave all. His sacrifice was the expression of His great love.
But His sacrifice had achieved something. He had saved lost mankind from their sins. What was I achieving by suffering brutality at the hands of rebel soldiers? If I died (which seemed probable and imminent) no one would even know of the suffering. What was being gained? God, why, why?
In the darkness and loneliness, He met with me. He was right there, a great wonderful and almighty God. His love enveloped me. Suddenly the "Why?" dropped away from me and an unbelievable peace flowed in, even in the midst of the wickedness. And He breathed a word into my troubled mind: the word privilege.
He said These are not your sufferings: they are not beating you. These are my sufferings: all I ask of you is the loan of your body. "
*Posted 7/5/2009* One of my co-worker frequently makes me think... today it was about sacrifice. Some people that I talk to perceive that my leaving for Africa will involve such a large sacrifice. But I know better. I am learning that it is not a sacrifice to give up things I don't value. So if I adjust my values away from what the world says is important I don't have to give up anything! I know that when I make this step in faith, and every step after that, as I follow the leading of my Lord, I will receive infinitely more than I have given up. Our God is amazing like that.
But can I take it a step further? Am I so bold as to say I even want to suffer for my Savior? Do I really want an opportunity to show my love to him? His disciples rejoiced in their chance to sacrifice. (Acts 5:41...rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.) I'm not sure I can honestly say that yet, maybe someday. For now I will just enjoy the privilege of being able to serve the Lord Jesus Christ how He asks as I prepare to go.
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