Something that I'm possibly over thinking but still want to analyze... I shared that I've felt tired and burdened and frustrated and anxious and a whole range of feelings from ambivalent to furious with all that has been going on. I've gone to God both disappointed and pissed off. But why such strong emotions with all of this? I know illness is a fact of life. I've cared for sick patients before that take some time to recover. I know that we don't understand God's timing and what He allows into our lives but that He is still in control. I saw amazing things that God did and provided. One of the greatest was how the body of Christ around the world rose up in prayer, support and encouragement. So why has this thrown me for a loop? If you think I'm going to be able to answer this tonight, sorry. I'm still pondering....
1 comment:
I can't answer the question, but I can propose an element for the solution.
Are you feeling responsible? Yeah, maybe a little?
Being invested in Tim's care, being the only constant practitioner, the only advocate for his well-being?
Please keep in mind that you are not alone, and beyond that, you're not in charge. Your conversations over the last few weeks with doctors and nurses may be God's words from your mouth. He loves Tim more than you and Angie combined. He loves you more than you know. He's given you a job to do, but it's His job and ultimately His responsibility.
Luke 7:1-9
1When Jesus had finished saying all this in the hearing of the people, he entered Capernaum. 2There a centurion's servant, whom his master valued highly, was sick and about to die. 3The centurion heard of Jesus and sent some elders of the Jews to him, asking him to come and heal his servant. 4When they came to Jesus, they pleaded earnestly with him, "This man deserves to have you do this, 5because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue." 6So Jesus went with them.
He was not far from the house when the centurion sent friends to say to him: "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. 7That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you. But say the word, and my servant will be healed. 8For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
9When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel."
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